Ooops! At least I didn't set myself on fire - why I'm now on YouTube

Well the big moment came and went in a flash. And while many of you who predicted disaster, will be glad to know your predictions came true – but not in the manner you might have expected. And of course it was all caught on YouTube. But more about that (and the link later).

As you know I was given a route to run in North Vancouver, a small communize known as Edgemont Village. I was told to meet at the foot of Grouse Mountain to check in and get my torch.

Upon arrival I met the other 18 or so folks who would be sharing this leg of the Torch Run with me: There was the president of Visa Canada, a representative of ESPN, three former Olympic athletes, a charming young lady who had won two golds and a silver at the Special Olympics (the Summer and Winter games), a HIV survivor, and a young woman from Nunavut. The rest of us were from some-of-it (lower mainland).

I was the first to get registered and told to go to the bus and get my torch. Once in the bus there was a line-up of 20 torches. I wanted to pick a good one, but had my hand slapped and handed one with my runner number on it.

I was worried that I might be given a unit manufactured by Toyota, but our den mother from Toronto told me with some pride that the torches were made by Bombardier.
I pointed out that our SkyTrain cars were built by Bombardier and she should see how reliable it was when we get an inch of snow on the tracks.
After a little pep talk we all trundled onto the shuttle bus and off we went, depositing runners every 300 meters like sacks of flower until it was my turn to get off.
As we got closer and closer to Edgemont Village the crowds got bigger and bigger.

When we entered the village the crowds were 8 deep on both sides of the street and the roofs of the buildings on either side of the street were lined with flag waving spectators. The mood on the bus turned from astonishment to down right fear.
“Who’s running here?” one of them asked?
“I guess that would be me,” I said.
I stepped, or rather was pushed like a reluctant sky diver, out of the bus and the bus took off leaving me alone with my fate.
The crowds stood around me afraid to touch me or the torch. Finally I offered it to one little girl, then another, and another, and suddenly everyone was grabbing for the torch. I had visions of the crowd passing the torch from hand to hand until it was half way down the block and I would have no torch when the runner arrived to light mine.
I got my torch back just in time for a Mountie on a bike to put a key into the side of the torch and turn on the gas. A moment or two later, Tico the runner ahead of me arrived, and we kissed torches and did a little dance with a dosey-do a couple of hi-fives and away I ran. Well I didn’t really run, more like a jog. Actually more like a walk – a slow walk. The crowds were so dense they were having trouble clearing the road in front of me! Of course I was egging them on
“Come on! Let’s hear it for the torch!” I shouted to one side putting my hand to my ear.
“I Can’t hear you!”
Egging the Audience On

Eventually I made it to the corner where the crowds thinned a bit, and trotted the last twenty yards to where Corrie, the challenged young Olympic athlete, I had mentioned earlier was waiting for me to “kiss” her torch.
I lit her torch and then reached around to hug her in the little dance we had rehearsed, but she must have forgotten and pulled back, and my elbow hit her arm, and her lit torch went flying and hit the pavement with an audible thunk. The Crowd that had been cheering wildly went ominously silent.
Oooooops!

Ooooooops Close up

A Mountie picked it up, dusted it off and handed it back to her, and off she ran while I scuttled to the side and sheepishly waited for the pick up bus, that thankfully arrived moments later.

The whole run I was told was over in under three minutes. Then it was pack to Grouse Mountain to get picked up by my wife and home.

I definitely want to thank all of you who took time off work and braved the crowds to come and see me and share the moment. I appreciated seeing your faces in the crowd.
I’ll publish some of your pictures on the blog as I get them, so check back from time to time and leave some feedback on the blog so it looks like somebody occasionally reads it!
That’s it for this adventure. I’m sure there’ll be more to come.

Thanks for following it with me. You’re all honorary torch bearers. Hold it high and don’t drop it.

Only Ten More Sleeps Till Torch Day!

Well here it is only one week until I run the Olympic Torch. I was a little concerned last week if I would make it. I developed this terrible pain in my neck and shoulder so I went to see my physiotherapist and he immediately knew what the problem was:
“You’ve got the worst case of torch shoulder I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen a lot of this lately, he said, “It comes from too much practicing holding your arm in the air. You have to stop doing at night in your sleep.”
He gave me some exercises to do and suggested I switch arms every hundred meters.

I’ve also come up with a brilliant marketing idea to cash in on my notoriety – after all it truly is my 15 minutes or 300 meters (which ever comes first) of fame. I’ve decided to market the Olympic Glove Protection Device. It’s an ingenious device to make sure that you don’t lose one of your Olympic mittens. In its simplest form it’s a piece of red string with a safety pin on either end. You attach a safety pin to one of your mittens, then run the string through both arms of your coat and attach the other mitten. It’s foolproof – it’s virtually impossible to lose one of your mittens. I figure $9.99 is a good price for the Jeff Groberman Olympic Mitten Saver. I’m taking orders now, but don’t tell the Olympic Police. I think I already have a problem with them.

A few days ago I received a call from the Richmond Review. They wanted to interview me as being one of the Richmond Torch Runners.
The phone interview was going quite well until the reporter asked me about my pledge.
“What pledge?” I asked.
“When you signed up, you promised to do something for the environment,” she replied. So what have you been doing?”

Oh yes, the pledge thing. Now I remember. When I signed up for the Torch Run the form had some air-fairy thing about pledging to do something good. I totally forgot about that. In fact I don’t even remember what it was I promised to do.

Suddenly I had a vision of the VANOC (Vancouver Olympic Committee) Police pouring out of the van that follows the runners and stopping me just as my torch is being lit, Taking it away, and snapping it over their knee, then stripping me of my spiffy Olympic Torch Runner Uniform and forcing me at torch point to run naked my 300 meters. I would lose all my friends, my family would abandon me, and I’d have to hang out with Steve Fonyo. (Who incidentally contacted me: He wanted to know if he could run with me - sort of a three legged segment with him and me handcuffed together.)

“Fine. Fine.” I told the reporter, playing for time. What was it I offered?
“So what exactly are you doing to save energy?” she pressed
Aha! That was it. I promised to save energy!
“Well, I’ve changed light bulbs in our house for those curly-cue Fluorescent things,” I offered.
“Two light bulbs? That’s it?” She asked. I could hear scribbling. This wasn’t going well. Then I had an inspiration.
“But then of course at our cottage, we have gone totally solar.”
“Really? Totally?”
I could hear that she was impressed.
“Yes. Yes. No sucking off the Hydro tit.” Everything is solar now. In fact I have so much power I might give some to my neighbours.”
“When can we get your picture?” She asked.
Of course I didn’t’ tell her there is no Hydro at our cottage. The only power we have is solar. But I made it sound impressive.
Thank goodness I didn’t promise to be a midwife to the whales.
She published a nice little article in last Saturday’s Richmond Review.

So this will be the last update until after I do my run next Wednesday. If you have the time come and see me run. I start at the Royal Bank in Edgemont Village and run to the Anglican Church on Ridgewood Drive around 4:00pm on Wednesday Feb 10th.

Yours till the torch goes out
Jeff